Core Difference.

When I stop trying to seek approval;

It does not mean that I stop being nice.

The only change is that I do what I do with a different intention.

It is no longer the need to please that person;

With the expectation of something in return.

It is merely doing things out of the joy of spreading the happiness.

Lovingly,
Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping

Intention.

One of the recent shots ; Ash & I.

To start things off, after exactly a week of not blogging;
(It's amazing that I could actually resist not updating!)

I intentionally left the previous post up for a week.
Wanting to see what everyone had to say about it.
I'm intrigued as well as appreciative for all the feedbacks.
Thank you all so much!

Let me throw you another question.
Something that was said in passing caught my attention just last weekend.

It is said that one of the reasons why I would withdraw myself from a person is because I feel unimportant to that person.

Does that statement carry some truth to you?

I found myself feeling rather 'off' yesterday.
It was probably one of those days where I go deep into thinking.
I ended up sleeping at 7pm, setting the alarm for 5am to wake up and finish my work;
Only to find myself wide awake at 10pm from a phone call.
Lesson? - Remember to switch the phone to silent mode!

Anyhow, since I was already up, I decided to complete the Maths assignment.
I ended up in a long chat with Eva till almost 1.30 in the morning.

It is interesting how our conversations can go.
And how I unconsciously have revelations through our chats.

I found out how organized my mind is;
Similarly to the miniature 3-level shelf I have on the study table.

The first level are pending items, things to do that are still undone ;

The second level are items that might come in handy, like rough papers ;

The third level are settled items that may be used from time to time.

When I have an experience in my life, anything at all;
I always believe that there is a lesson to be learnt.
It is just a matter of choice as to whether or not I want to learn from it.

Say I was on the trip to India and I have so much to learn from it.
Although I have learnt this much, it is still laying on the top stack;
Probably because I haven't learnt enough from it just yet.

When would I know I have learnt all the lessons from an experience?
When I stop going on and on about it.
(And yes, if you're wondering, the trip to Puttaparthi in May hasn't settled in just yet)

Then, the link of unimportance came in.
I have just recently realized why I withdrew from a person;
And it is because I feel unimportant.
Then the next question makes me ponder;
Why do I feel unimportant?

Again, while talking to Eva, a revelation descended.

From a personal point of view;

Interests and daily happenings are of the external layer of a being.
While the interior is made up of feelings and emotions;
Something that not everyone opens up to.

When a person is willing to open up their interior to you;
Does that make you feel important?

I felt that for a period of time;
I was working very hard at 'qualifying' myself as someone important to a person.
And eventually, I stopped trying.

I stopped trying not out of anger or dissatisfaction ;
It was due to a self-realization that I do not need approval to feel important.

If I have the self-esteem and confidence in me;

Would I settle for exterior approval?
Wouldn't the fact that I am my authentic qualify as important?
Afterall, God created each and every being for a purpose.
By being my authentic self, that would already fulfill the purpose.

To me, life is like a jigsaw puzzle.
At least mine feels like it.

It is like a 10000000000000-piece jigsaw puzzle.
And everyday I find a piece or two that fits perfectly.

I find such joy in living!
Amazing ain't it?

P.S
Eva thinks I think too much, but I think it is just me.
What do you think?


Lovingly,
Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping

It Was Once.

I have something to ask the readers of piggydotcom ;

What is one of the most significant lessons that you've learnt in your life thus far?

Please, feel free to drop a comment.

I wouldn't mind even if it is left anonymously.

I have something to share after this. :)

Lovingly,

Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping

The Honda City.

The car isn't technically here yet.
I wouldn't say it is going to be mine.
Because by saying it is mine, I'd be identifying myself with it.
And by doing that, I am making it a part of me.
Which also means by losing it, I would feel like I have lost a part of me.

This lesson was learnt in Puttaparthi, India when I was there in June ;
If you haven't read about it, do feel free to click the June 2009 archive.
The posts on India begins from the bottom of the page.
Enjoy!

So, a way to not call it "my car" so to speak ;
I name her.
And yes, the Honda City is a female.
Girl power baby! :)

I think naming things helps me detach from the identification to it.
Like instead of saying my camera, I call him Horus.
So when I speak in a normal conversation, it'd go something like this ;
"I brought Horus along today" or "Horus did great today".

So ;
The champagne-colour Honda City is now known as Stitch!
Cute, no?


Lovingly,
Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping

Short, short one.

Quick update on Sports Carnival.

Campus Run : 4th.

But..

Basketball 3 on 3, we came in 1st!! :)

To my surprise, I was offered a spot to join the Dodgeball team today!

Practise starts tomorrow.

Real match, next week.

The Yellow house's guys basketball team won in the semi finals today.

Finals tomorrow!

All the best guys.

As for me, it is off to do my History essay.

(Which is due tomorrow)

P.S

What would you name a Honda City if it is to be a 'she'?

Lovingly,
Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping

Daddy.

This video made me cry at 5am in the morning.

Daddy, please don't let go so soon.

I am still very much, your little girl.

Lovingly,
Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping

Quickie.

Just very very short updates.

Boy a.k.a Shafiq's 18th birthday was a blast.

We pranked him all day.

From a midnight surprise to his room ;

Pouring a bowl of flour and egg mixture on his face ;

With strips of lipstick ;

And a raw egg smashed on his head ;

With a shower of ice cold water.

The next prank was with pink and blue A4 papers.

We wrote random messages on the papers ;

Pasted it all over his greenish blue Kancil.

And he actually drove to college with the car in that condition!

Just imagine the enormous amount of attention he got.

Badminton.

I won the singles, because the opponent didn't know how to play.

I lost mixed doubles with Mr David, 23-25.

So we're playing against a different team tomorrow ;

For the 3rd place spot. :)

Thank you to Mummy and WJ for coming all the way to watch the match.

Thank you to everyone who stayed back to cheer me on ;

Dipti, Alyssa, Ivor, Kelvin, Hidayat, Brenda, Boy ;

Noemi, Naqiah, Intan, Yugen, William, Hasif, Eva, Trixia.

Thank you to Mr David for the advice.

Thank you to the Yellow house teammates for the moral support.

Thank you to all the well-wishers ;

And Kit Mun for the supportive text message!

And God Mum for the uplifting words!

I love y'all lah :)

It meant the world to me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Today.

Excursion to Parliament!

Amazing, amazing experience.

60 of us we allowed to sit through the Dewan Rakyat hearing.

We were technically seated in the meeting hall itself.

Facing all the members of Parliament as they met.

Though not everything said in there were with substance ;

I still enjoyed!

We heard Anwar speak, short and sweet.

My heart flipped with excitement when I saw Karpal Singh enter the hall!

However, I only got to hear part of his speech as we had to leave.

I must say, the excursion to Parliament this morning made me feel different.

It is kind of like a tingly, moving feeling.

Does it mean something?

I seem to be in denial whenever this feeling comes about.

I shall allow myself to ponder over it for a bit. :)

Off to do laundry ;

Then shower ;

Then a quick dinner ;

Then assignments ;

Then mandatory rest for tomorrow!

By the way, for those those who didn't know ;

I am back in the Yellow House.

The Pre-University department along with staff are in the Yellow House.

Seems like a jinx to me.

Yellow House in SK Seafield.

Yellow House in Sri KDU.

Yellow House in KDU College. :)

As the saying goes...

Yellow, yellow, dirty fellow.

Lovingly,
Sasha Yeoh Ee Ping